The Stars or the Earth
by Beauty In Her Darkness
Summary: After the paladin's return to Earth and their subsequent recovery from battle, they have to deal with the past. Shiro struggles with Adam's death, Acxa reveals one of Lotor's secrets, and Keith is torn about where he belongs in the galaxy now that the paladins are on Earth but the battle in space isn't over. (Post season 7)


It took a full week for all of the paladins to wake up and another few days for them to be cleared to leave the hospital after ending the Galra invasion. Lance was the first to leave the hospital. The doctors hadn't actually wanted to clear him, but anyone could tell that he was leaving with his family, with or without their permission. Pidge and Hunk were next for the same reason. Their families were there all day anyways, but Hunk and Pidge missed their homes. Allura and Keith were last for the same reason too.

It felt weird for all of them to be away from each other after spending years in space together, but they were all secretly relieved. Romelle, Coran, and Allura needed the time to figure out whether to stay on Earth or try to return to the Altean colony. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge deserved to be with their families after everything they'd been through. As for Shiro and Keith, they needed the time to mourn, which was why they sequestered themselves in Shiro's rooms in the Garrison, telling only Krolia where they were at so they wouldn't be interrupted. It wasn't easy to find the time to have an afternoon to themselves these days, but they had managed. Adam deserved that much since they had both left him when he needed them most, albeit involuntarily.

"I saw his name on the memorial," Keith said, his eyes squeezed shut. He didn't want to cry. Shiro was the one who needed to be consoled, not him. "It still doesn't feel real."

Shiro swallowed, blinking back tears. They had already cried that morning. Shiro couldn't afford to fall apart again. "I know what you mean."

"Did Iverson give you his belongings?" Keith asked, sensing that Shiro needed to talk about it, even if he didn't realize it. He'd been keeping it bottled up for too long.

"Everything. He offered to give it to Adam's family, but they wanted me to have it. As a thank you for saving Earth," he said bitterly, rubbing at his eyes.

"Have you gone through any of it yet?" Keith wondered if Adam had hung onto anything of his or Shiro's. They'd certainly left enough of their stuff behind when they jumped in the Blue Lion and blasted off into space.

Shiro shook his head. "I'm not ready. You know, I used to think about coming back to Earth and just seeing Adam. Not even talking to him, just seeing him alive. Happy. I thought he'd never forgive me after the Kerberos mission."

"He regretted what he said the second you left, even before we were told you died," Keith said. He had already told Shiro that years ago when he had first rescued him from the clutches of the Garrison doctors, but Shiro needed to hear it again.

"Did you ever miss Earth?" Shiro asked. He combed his hand through his tuft of white hair. It was still a shock to see.

Keith turned away. He could see the broad expanse of the desert outside, the clear blue sky, and it stirred nothing inside him. It never had.

"No," Keith admitted, the word leaving an ugly aftertaste in his mouth. "I missed Adam, but there was nothing else tying me back to Earth except for a grave."

"Is there anything that you'd miss now?" Shiro asked.

"That depends on what you and the paladins do. If you all stay on Earth or go back into space."

"And what if the Blade and the Alteans ask you to join them and the rest of us stay here? Shiro asked, unnervingly calm. "What will you do then?"

That was perhaps the thing that Keith dreaded most. His life before had been so much easier when he had no attachments beyond Shiro and Adam, if a thousand times more lonely. He never thought that he'd have to make a choice like this. His automatic instinct was to say that he'd stay with Shiro and the paladins, but that wasn't entirely true. His friends were of Earth, but his heart was in the stars.

"I don't know," Keith said softly.

Shiro's knowing smile proved that he already knew what Keith's response was going to be before he said it.

Keith's helmet flashed from the table he had dropped it on, signaling that someone was trying to contact him. He leapt over the couch where Shiro was sitting and tapped the comms.

"What is it?" Keith asked, seeing that the new red paladin was calling. Lance checked in with everyone at least once a day. He was taking the group's temporary separation the worst, which was unusual because he had more family members than anyone to catch up with.

"Are you with Shiro?" Lance asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Are both of you free tonight?" Lance continued.

"Aren't you in Cuba? Why are you calling me to ask stupid questions like this?" Keith asked, frustrated at Lance's timing. For God's sake, Shiro still looked like he was about to have another good cry.

"Eight o'clock tonight at Coral Beach. Bring Shiro," Lance said before logging off.

* * *

Apparently Lance, Hunk, and Pidge had decided that it was high time they all saw each other in person again after a week with their respective families. Everyone was already there by the time the black paladins arrived which made Keith think that Krolia had warned the others that Keith and Shiro needed the most time.

The three Alteans were talking with the Holt family at one end of the rather impressive bonfire, Lance and Hunk were gorging on some snacks, and the three Galra were talking quietly with their heads bowed together. It was odd to see such a varied group sitting casually on a Cuban beach as if this were normal, but Keith wasn't going to complain. He had missed them, the paladins in particularly. He had only seen Acxa, Kolivan, Krolia, and Shiro for the past two weeks.

Matt noticed the black paladins first. He gestured for everyone to stay seated and jogged over to them, nearly tripping in the sand dunes. The normally cheerful genius was somber as he approached them.

"I just heard about Adam today and I wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. Keith, I know he was like a brother to you, and Shiro," Matt said, a tear dripping down his face. "I can't even imagine what you're going through."

"He was your friend too, Matt," Shiro said gently.

"I know, but," Matt cut himself off and hugged Shiro. Shiro looked shocked for a second before hugging Matt back tightly. Keith drifted over to the group. He didn't want to intrude on their moment. Keith had had Shiro to himself all day. It was only fair to let the others hang out with him too.

"What's up with them?" Lance asked, noticing that they were still hugging.

Lance's question was a painful reminder that Shiro hadn't told the paladins or anyone else about Adam. Only Keith, Matt, and Sam knew about him at the gathering. Keith wasn't entirely sure why Shiro hadn't told them. He knew it wasn't because he was ashamed and definitely not because he was worried that they wouldn't accept him.

"Shiro lost someone very close to him when the Galra attacked, Lance. He's mourning," Sam said, not trying to rebuke Lance, just correct him. Sam turned to Keith as he sat down between Krolia and Acxa. "How are you holding up?"

Keith blinked. That was unexpected. "I'm fine."

"Matt told me that you were close to him, too," Sam explained. The paternal look in his eyes was so foreign. Keith had Shiro and Adam as sort of big brothers, but never anyone who felt like a father.

Keith shrugged. "When Shiro was taken by the Galra, Adam was the only one checking up on me. I haven't seen him in years, though."

"You weren't alone in that house in the desert?" Hunk asked, confused. "There was someone living out there with you?"

"No, I _was_ living alone. Adam, one of the instructors at the Garrison, kept an eye on me, though. He said if Shiro was gone, the least he could do was look after Shiro's little brother," Keith said, raking his hand through Cosmo's thick fur as the wolf napped on Krolia's feet.

"I remember Adam," Lance said suddenly. "He was my favorite instructor in my second year. I didn't know that he was close to Shiro. I mean, I knew that they knew each other, but he talked about Shiro like every other instructor and pilot did."

"I doubt that Shiro wants to talk about Adam right now, so I suggest a change in conversation," Sam said.

Shiro sat down between the Holt siblings as Lance regaled them with tales of how his family was bragging to everyone they laid eyes on that their precious mijo was the red paladin of Voltron, which was often met with confusion due to Lance's blue armor. Keith only half paid attention. He was too busy watching Shiro to make sure that he was okay.

"We really should exchange armor," Hunk mused. "Only Pidge and I are wearing the right colors."

"I don't know, it's kind of fun to confuse everyone," Lance said, grinning. "Besides, I'm pretty attached to my armor."

Cosmo woke up, blinked sleepily, and promptly tackled Keith into the sand the second that he realized Keith was there. Krolia smiled as her son tried to get the wolf off him.

"Why is Keith the one who got a cool space pet?" Lance whined. "All I got was a cow who my little cousins won't stop feeding. Soon he's going to be too fat to walk."

"I'm sure the mice would be happy to stay with you for awhile," Allura said. Keith still wasn't used to seeing her without her diadem.

"The mice don't teleport," Lance grumbled.

Keith grinned and jerked his head towards Lance. Cosmo teleported to Lance and began licking him to death. Keith's grin only grew as Lance began laughing hysterically, screaming that Keith's stupid wolf was tickling him. He had to admit, he really had missed Lance for the past week.

"I don't think I've ever seen you smile before," Acxa remarked.

Keith brushed the sand off his clothes and sat back down next to her. "We were usually enemies. Of course I wasn't smiling."

Acxa looked guilty, but didn't say anything.

"Did you two meet before the rest of us or something?" Hunk asked. "You seem to know each other way better than you should."

Most people seemed intrigued by what the answer was going to be, except for Shiro and Krolia, both of whom already knew. Lance in particular seemed curious, as he turned away from Cosmo to look at Keith and Acxa.

"We met in the Weblum," Keith said. "She was the one who pulled a gun on me and stole the scaltrite."

"I knew about you before then," Acxa admitted, brushing strands of her purple hair away from her face. Everyone's eyes snapped to her, not because of her words, which were fairly innocent, but her tone. The guilt that had shown on her face had seeped into her voice.

"Because I was a paladin?" Keith asked, not sure where Acxa was going with this.

"Not exactly. When Voltron first engaged with Zarkon's fleet and you fought him alone in the Red Lion, Lotor noticed. And after you joined the Blade of Marmora, his suspicions were confirmed. Lotor knew you were half-Galra long before he allied with the other paladins," Acxa said.

"What does that matter? Lotor's dead," Shiro said, his expression hard. Keith saw past that. There was fear in Shiro's eyes, because what Acxa was hinting at, it meant that Keith could have been in more danger than they ever knew about.

"You deserve to know," Acxa said to Keith. "The reason why I tried not to fight you, why I stopped the others from killing you, it wasn't because I was in love with you like Zethrid and Ezor thought. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Of course he did. The two of them had never held a normal conversation until after Lotor's death. Axca wasn't some starstruck fan of the first paladin she met, she was a warrior. Even if she had somehow fallen in love with Keith, she wouldn't have let her feelings affect her missions.

"So why didn't you kill Keith?" Lance asked, then realized what he said. "Oh, man. That came out wrong. I swear I'm glad you didn't, it's just why wouldn't you? Like he said, you were enemies."

"Lotor wanted you, Keith," Acxa said, firelight crackling across her face. "You were a half-Galra paladin who survived fighting Zarkon after only months in space and you didn't care about your home planet anymore than the others. If he could turn you to his side, you would have been his right hand man, his most feared general. You would have been his most powerful weapon."

Keith wasn't sure he was even breathing. The others were all talking at once, demanding answers from Acxa, but Keith didn't hear any of it. Keith fixed his eyes on the bonfire, trying to ground himself.

"Did Lotor really think he'd ever be able to convince Keith to join him?" Shiro demanded, his voice rising above the rest. "How did he even plan to recruit him?"

Acxa shifted uncomfortably. "It all depended on the timing. Lotor knew that Allura still harbored a grudge against the Galra and that things were tense between Keith and the paladins because of his time with the Marmora. It would have been easy to play on all of your fears and insecurities to further that divide. And as you all know, Lotor was incredibly persuasive. Convincing another half-Galra to join him would have been a day's work."

"What do you mean tense?" Pidge asked, defensive of her teammates.

"She means that we all turned on him when he joined the Blade of Marmora," Shiro said. "Keith was doing solo missions for them. His reinforcements would have been light-years away, and that was when he had them. That would have given Lotor the perfect chance to either grab Keith or convince us to further isolate him."

"Lotor sent Zethrid, Ezor, and me after Keith many times, but he had always completed his mission and regrouped with the Blade by the time we got there. You were the biggest threat aside from Voltron and Zarkon in the galaxy to Lotor," Acxa said solemnly.

"We often tracked the generals to Keith's recent locations, but we just assumed that they were targeting the Blade, not him specifically," Kolivan said.

"How was I such a big threat?" Keith asked, finally regaining his voice. "If I stepped down from being a paladin, I would have been just like any other Blade."

"You fought Zarkon and survived," Acxa repeated. "That doesn't happen. Even Shiro was defeated in his fight with the Emperor. Plus, you had connections to two of the Lions and were the best agent the Blade had, aside from Krolia. You had all of the skills Lotor requires from his generals. Stealth, speed, physical prowess, high intellect, knowledge of military tactics, and no connections to anything that would cause conflicting allegiance beyond Voltron, who he planned to gain control of anyways."

"It wasn't just that, though, was it?" Allura asked. "Keith could have done and had all of that, but that wouldn't have mattered if he weren't half-Galra."

Acxa nodded. "All of Lotor's high ranking officers were half-Galra. He claimed it was because we had all of the Galra's physical strength and twice the cunning, but I think he didn't want to be alone. Half-Galra are shunned and hated, even if they're the Emperor's son. So he surrounded himself by those who were like him while preserving his blood ties to both the Galra and Alteans. He wouldn't have cared about either Keith or Allura if it weren't for their races."

"You said that it was easy for him to recruit half-Galra. How did he recruit you?" Keith asked softly.

"Lotor found me when I was fifteen. I had been run out of my village years before because I was a living reminder of what the Galra had done to our planet, to my family. I wasn't lucky enough to only have purple eyes," she said bitterly. Keith's violet eyes darted away from hers momentarily, ashamed. "I was living by myself in a cave in the mountains. Smugglers and war tribes came by to try to steal my few belongings and sell me into slavery every few months. I learned how to fend them off quickly and taught myself how to read and write on a tablet I stole. Lotor came to deal with a rebellion that was rising in the village I was from, and that's where he heard about the half-Galra warrior girl who they'd be glad to be rid of. Lotor found me quickly. All he did was ask if I wanted to leave. I said if he could get me away from here and never bring me back, I'd do anything he wanted. You know the rest."

Acxa's story was eerily similar to Keith's own. After Shiro was gone and he had been expelled from Garrison, Keith had lived by himself in the desert. He hadn't had to worry about smugglers or war tribes, but there were the occasional idiots who tried to hide in his house thinking it was abandoned when they were on the run from the law. He taught himself astronomy and everything there was to know about flying, while also learning about frequencies to eavesdrop on the Garrison. And once they found the Blue Lion, Keith didn't care that he was in space. All that mattered was that he wasn't rotting away on Earth.

Keith rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed at his face, trying to process everything she was saying. He had never had a chance to talk to Lotor like the others had, so it seemed far fetched that the prince had been obsessed with him, or rather, his heritage.

"Keith?" Krolia asked, the crackling fire nearly drowning out her voice.

"I need a minute," he said, getting up and heading towards the waves. No one had the heart to stop him.

Cosmo trailed behind him obediently, his paws sinking into the soft dunes. Apparently Lance's home was only a mile away. He had probably grown up on this beach, splashing in the waves with his friends and having bonfires with his families. Keith had grown up in a lonely desert with a father that left frequently to fight fires, and eventually never came back.

"Go back to mom," Keith said to Cosmo after a few minutes. Cosmo cocked his head at Keith as if considering whether or not to listen to him before teleporting even closer to Keith.

"Dumb dog," he said affectionately, ruffling the fur on his little head. "I love you, too."

After a few minutes, Keith found some logs that had washed up on shore, creating a natural seat. He settled down in the sand, his back resting against the log. Cosmo nestled up on his lap. It was far enough away that Keith couldn't hear anything they were saying, but they were still close enough to be in eyesight.

Why hadn't Acxa told him before? They had traveled across a good portion of the galaxy together on the way to Earth, yet she never thought to mention that if things had turned out differently he would have been a general of the Galra and not a paladin of Voltron? No, instead she had waited until everyone important to him was there to hear it. Now Allura would feel even more guilty that she had hated him when she first found out about his Galra blood and the paladins would regret the many fights they had when he joined the Blades.

Would he have joined Lotor is things had turned out differently? When he joined the Blade, he was angry, alone, and determined to tear the universe apart for answers. He didn't have the patience that he had now. He had been reckless, impulsive, itching for a fight. If he thought joining Lotor would be the quickest route to killing Zarkon, he would have. He would have voluntarily donned Galra armor and fought alongside Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid if it meant that Zarkon no longer ruled, and he likely wouldn't have left unless he found out about the Altean colony Lotor was draining for quintessence.

Keith sat there for nearly half an hour lost in thought before someone came over to check up on him. He expected them to send Shiro or Krolia, but it was the new red paladin who approached, hands stuffed in his pockets. Cosmo teleported over to Lance and then dropped him in front of Keith. Keith thought he would have disliked someone coming over here to talk, but he was surprised to find that he was actually glad to see Lance. With Lance, Keith didn't have to worry that he'd be pressured into talking. Lance was far too empathetic to do that to anyone.

"My little cousins are going to love Cosmo," Lance said, scratching under Cosmo's chin. Keith had never seen the wolf looked so satisfied. For reasons he didn't quite understand, Cosmo really loved Lance despite spending very little time with him. "They've been begging me to bring the pretty magic space wolf home all week."

"I'm spending the night in Cuba, so you can borrow him until morning," Keith said, standing up. He dusted off his clothes, which were considerably tighter than when he got them. He hadn't got around to actually buying clothes that fit his new body shape. "I don't feel like flying all the way back to the Garrison tonight."

"You could stay at my house," Lance offered sincerely. "My family wouldn't mind at all. In fact, they've been asking when you were going to swing by for a visit. Everyone else stopped by my place earlier today, but Krolia said you and Shiro were doing something important. But be warned, you'd have to share the guest room with Hunk if you do."

Keith shook his head. "Thanks, but I already got a hotel room. Besides, Hunk snores."

Lance grinned and rubbed the neck of his neck. "Yeah, he does. The first night we shared a room at the Garrison, I thought it was storming outside before I realized that it was just him."

They lapsed into silence, the only sounds were Cosmo's happy panting and the rustling surge of the waves. What was the last planet that they'd been to that had oceans? Lakes and rivers were abundant, but oceans of water weren't as common as he thought they'd be. Still, as nice as it was to see them, they weren't enough to make him want to stay. So why did some small part of him ache at the thought of leaving Earth? It had never been his home, not in the ways that counted. Home was the Castle of Lions and that cave he shared with Krolia and Cosmo, two places that he could never return to.

"I think Acxa really regrets bringing up Lotor," Lance said finally. "All of the Alteans are seething and your mom looks like she wants to resurrect Lotor just to kill him herself. I fear and respect her in equal measure."

"I'm glad Acxa told me. I deserve to know," Keith said, not looking at Lance. "He was with you guys for awhile, right? Did he ever ask about me?"

"You know, I've been thinking about that ever since she brought him up, and I honestly don't think he needed to. We were constantly contacting you and the Blade. He could have pieced together everything he needed to know about you from listening to us," Lance said, unnerved. "And he wouldn't have even needed to know your location because once he allied with us, he had a straight path to you. He was probably waiting for you to come back to us. The only time I can even remember him mentioning you was when Allura said something offensive to the Galra. He asked if that also applied to you since you're half-Galra."

"Oh, yeah? And what did she say?" Keith asked skeptically.

"She said of course not. She may have been mad that you left, but she'd never let an outsider insult you," Lance said. He sighed. "You know what sucks? I never trusted Lotor, even when he did everything right. Everyone else just thought that I was jealous because of him and Allura, so they didn't listen to me. And I understand, but I can't help but think that if we had just ejected him into space like I suggested, things would have turned out better. I don't want to think that. I don't want to blame everyone else, but I think that I do."

"That does suck," Keith said, patting Lance sympathetically on the shoulder. "Lance, why do you like Allura so much when she never takes you seriously?"

Lance shook his head. "I don't know, Keith. It's not like I want to like her. She obviously doesn't feel the same way and Hunk and Pidge won't stop teasing me. It's just...Allura is really good, you know? She can be mean, but that's because she cares so much. Too much. She puts everything before herself, and I can't help but admire that."

"That sounds like hero worship, not love," Keith pointed out.

Lance shrugged. "You might be right," he conceded. He looked at Keith quizzically. "Actually, now that I think about it, she's a lot like you,"

"Well, we do have one glaring difference," Keith said.

"And what's that?" Lance asked, almost nervously.

Keith took a step towards Lance, savoring being the same height as him at last. "If you cared about me the same way you think you care about Allura, I wouldn't ignore your feelings and let you pine after me. Allura may be one of my closest friends, but she's stringing you along and you don't deserve that."

Keith wasn't sure that Lance was even breathing. Keith stepped back and scratched Cosmo's head as Lance gaped at him.

"Are you ready to go join the others?" Keith asked, his heart pounding. Why was Lance just standing there? He literally _never_ shut up. Keith would know. He'd been trying to make Lance shut up ever since they met.

"What? Um, yeah. Sure," Lance stuttered. It was too dark to really tell, but Keith was fairly certain that Lance was blushing.

The red paladins and the wolf headed back towards the bonfire, their pace considerably slower than the average walk, as if neither really wanted to go back. Cosmo forged ahead, eager to return to Krolia. As the wolf landed on her lap, everyone turned around to watch Keith and Lance's return.

"Wait," Lance said, grabbing Keith's arm. Keith spun around to face Lance, conscious that everyone was still looking at them.

"What is it?" Keith asked when Lance didn't say anything.

If Lance had seemed nervous earlier, he was a wreck now. Lance rubbed the back of his neck before finally meeting Keith's eyes and saying, "Did you really mean that?"

"You're really thick sometimes, you know that? Yes, Lance. I think that you deserve to be treated better than how Allura is treating you," Keith said, glad that his voice stayed steady even as his heartbeat picked up.

"You're right, but I-" Lance cut himself off with an exasperated sigh. "Do you like me? God, that sounds so childish. I'm-"

"Lance," Keith interrupted. Lance looked at him with an expression that was somehow both pained and hopeful. "I like you. A lot. I don't know how that wasn't obvious, but yes."

Lance froze, completely stunned. Everyone around the bonfire was still watching them, no doubt wondering what they were still talking about in the last seconds of their privacy.

"You don't need to feel obligated to do anything. I get that you're hung up on Allura. I just thought that you should know," Keith said quietly.

"You're serious? You actually like me?" Lance asked. Lance looked like Keith was talking in a foreign language for all he understood.

"Are you really going to make me say it again? I like you," Keith said, clenching his fist to keep from wringing his hands nervously. "Now are we going to stand here all night or get back to the-"

Lance stepped forward and before Keith's brain could even process what was happening, he kissed him. It was quick and soft and so entirely unexpected that both boys were left wondering if it even happened at all. Reality hit them as all of their friends and family started cheering.

Lance was definitely blushing now. "Let's go join them before Cosmo warps them all out here."

"Sure," Keith said, looking slightly dazed. A small grin was spreading across his face though.

Hand in hand, they headed towards the light of the bonfire.


End file.
